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Too tired to look it over. Will but behind cut when woken up again and coherent. This one really sucks but am too tired to scrap all the bullshit parts and write new ones.

Mentioned Rinoa/Squall, wishful Seifer/Squall


Epiphany
by
annakas



It is while finishing off another unsatisfying fight with his yet another new practice partner that Squall realizes he misses Seifer for more than only his skill with Hyperion.

The epiphany doesn't feel as disturbing as he thinks it should. Instead he is relieved because finally he has figured out the missing piece of a puzzle. This time the puzzle being his heart.

Squall can't pinpoint the time when he fell in love with Seifer or to be honest even why. Because Seifer was a selfish person, crude rude and damn annoying at his best behavior. Psychopathic killer at his worst.

No, that would be dishonest he does know why he loves Seifer and Squall is not in the habit of lying to himself, he just doesn't want to believe the reasons.

He knows that a lot of the attraction had to do with Seifer's will and stubbornness. Seifer was the only one who treated Squall normally. Not taking his bullshit and whatevers and just stayed close and still did what Seifer wanted. It was very refreshing.

The best part was that Seifer did not want to talk about feelings or being friends. Instead the two of them fought like cats and dogs. Sent each other in to the infirmary more times than he could remember.

He misses that. That there was someone who gave as good as they got and then some. Now everyone is treating him like a saint or a god. Squall really hates being a so called war hero.

He can't say he understands why everyone is so suddenly looking up at him and wanting his opinion on this or that. He just did his job as a mercenary.

Achieving the goal of being a SeeD is not as satisfying as he thought it would be. At-least not without Seifer. There is no one who could kick his ass with a gunblade now and he feels that he is losing his touch with Lion heart. Seifer was the only one who matched him in skill with the blade.

The little epiphany had another good point. He finally realised why he disliked Rinoa and why he was in a relationship with her.

Everyone figured that he and the new sorceress would hook up after the war and they did. As expected, all the romantics around him went a little overboard with their comments about the Princess having her white knight in shining armor. Or in this case the Sorceress having her Knight. True vuvv and all that crap.

Still Squall disliked Rinoa and considering he was her knight and lover that showed something was very wrong about the matter. Now he knows he dated the sorceress only because she was Seifer's last girlfriend and he wanted to be as close to Seifer as he could.

A lot of his dislike originated from Rinoa replacing Seifer so soon after being the blonds lover. Squall saw it as betrayal to Seifer. Or atleast his subconscious did, and now his conscious too.

He really can't understand what Seifer saw in the girl. Sure Rinoa had a beautiful body but to be honest she sucked in bed. Too passive. She just layed back and he had to do all the work. Like sex was a great burden she had to live through. Lay back and think of homeland is the expression that came to mind.

Not that Squall really blamed Rinoa. She was young and inexperienced, a spoilt daughter of a general who had suddenly been dropped in to a situation far above her dealings. Unexpected wars and magical powers could to that to anyone. She just handled the situation as best as she could. Turning the war in to her personal adventure of love above all was her way for it. Sadly Squall was the destined other half in her mind.

She was more in love with the idea of a Sorceress and her Knight than Rinoa and Squall. The break up was not a easy one or beautiful but still he stood firm and now no more star crossed lovers.

Now he doesn't know what to do. With the influence he had Squall canceled all the headhuntings and orders for Seifer's life. Instead somehow he persuaded the general public of the fact that Seifer was brainwashed by the Sorceress. He knows that it is not entirely untrue but some part of Seifer had to know what he did was wrong and still did it. That doesn't matter because Squall is in love with Seifer and if lying through his teeth could save the man then he would do it. This was the only thing so far that being a war hero has come in handy for.

Next step would be to find Seifer and bring him back to the Garden to get his SeeD ranking. The hard part would be finding the former sorceress knight, even harder to convince him to come back but Squall hopes and is going to find a way even if it is the last thing he does.

The probability of Seifer loving Squall is small but he doesn't care. Because when ever has Squall gotten what he wants? Life has never been easy for him and there is no reason why it should start to be so now.

The important bit is to get Seifer back safe and sound. If hiding behind his need for a good sparring partner is it then he will do it. After all there could be worse fates than having an unrequited love. Seifer could be dead, but he is not.

So now he needs to find him.

Squall is determined.

And so he does.

Fin.

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